And here i thought...

Unlike most other posts, this is an honest blog entry... so here you go:

why is it that everything you ever thought you had can be... gone? Why were we put on this godforsaken planet, anyway? to live a successful life, or to be bound by atmosphere, gravity, to something we will destroy, in essence, destroying ourselves. Have you ever had fish that lived in a bottle? The kind that you didn't have to feed, didn't have to care about, just put the bottle in the sun and it was good? well, the fish will live a normal, full life. But, unlike the fish, we have resources, we have factories and cars, and we're destroying our environment, day after day. eventually, we'll all be, so to speak, floating belly up, dead in our own biproduce and waste. day after day, we're going downhill, on a bicycle without breaks. day after day, we're killing ourselves. some say suicide is rediculous, terrible, and the people who commit deserve to die because clearly they had serious mental problems. but that's what we're doing to ourselves. Clearly our priorities are a bit skewed, and we need to step back and revaluate everything we're doing, everything we've ever done, and just see; will tomorrow come?

you are...

my best friend
my nightmare
my model
my love

my hopeful
my nothing
my angel
my dove

okay so there's this girl...

okay so there's this girl
who's chronically confused
and sometimes she seems like
she's making some sense
but other times she's just feeling used

okay so there's this girl
who's never how she seems
and sometimes i feel like
i know how she feels
but i think that it's all been a dream

okay so there's this girl
and she always acts just fine
but i know that really
all she wants
is a little peace of mind

okay so there's this girl
who is trapped inside the walls
and i'm thinking of her
when i'm stuck in my mind
when i'm wondering down those endless halls

okay so there's this girl
who i used to think i knew
but now everything seems
like it's all to collapse
and it's just too much like you.

(this is for you.)

eyes

i'll cry my eyes out
from lack of sleep
even though i have reason
to stay awake

i hate feeling like
i love somebody
who doesn't really love me
quite as much

and maybe there's
a reason for
just being friends with him
a good reason, too.

who says....

who says
i can't be
amazing
if i want
and all i
have are dreams

who says
i can't like
the blonde boys
if i want
but all i
want is you

who says
i can't like
the rain more
than the sunshine
but all i
need is fun

who says
i cant like
you better
as a best friend
but all i
need is us

i'll be just fine.

Maybe

maybe hearts are simply made of
ventricles, arteries
so maybe we don't need to try so hard
simply to please

maybe love is simply made of
chemicals and songs
so maybe if we'd look around we'd realize we were wrong

maybe hope is simply made of
misconceptions, lies
so maybe you'd discover more
by looking in my eyes

maybe hate is simply made of
enemies and fears
so maybe we'll forgive, forget
not waste away for years

maybe life is simply made of
politics and games
but i have found by living life
that life is not the same.

how do you know...

every time i've written
those depressing things i write
i talk of eyes as blue as skies
it never seems quite right

and ever time i speak of him
with reverence in my voice
i remember what he thinks of me
and that i've made my choice

so when i talk of eyes so blue
it tends to be a lie
'cos the boy i love's a metaphor
i need to see through this boy's eyes

i told him the things that were written on
the inside of my hand
i told him what i really thought
i hoped he'd understand

and now i feel alone, ignored
and far away from life
i made that same mistake again
but this time i think it was right.